Forgiveness Unforgiveness and Reconciliation – Getting Past Your Childhood – Hindrances to prayers spiritual and all round success in Life

Forgiveness, Unforgiveness and Reconciliation - Getting Past Your Childhood - Hindrances to prayers, spiritual and all round success in Life

Forgiveness Unforgiveness and Reconciliation – Getting Past Your Childhood – Hindrances to prayers spiritual and all round success in Life

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Date: Sunday, November 29, 2020

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90 days Global Mathew 6:10 Prayer and fasting – Day 60

Title – Forgiveness Unforgiveness and Reconciliation – Getting Past Your Childhood – Hindrances to prayers, spiritual and all round success in Life

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Forgiveness, Unforgiveness and Reconciliation - Getting Past Your Childhood - Hindrances to prayers, spiritual and all round success in Life
Forgiveness, Unforgiveness and Reconciliation – Getting Past Your Childhood – Hindrances to prayers, spiritual and all round success in Life

Friends, I am prompted by the Holy Spirit to bring you the todays title – Forgiveness, Unforgiveness and Reconciliation – Getting Past Your Childhood – Hindrances to prayers, spiritual and all round success in life.

In the Matthew 18:19-35, there was a dialogue between the disciples, Peter and Jesus on prayers that get answers and on forgiveness. I will encourage you to go read that scripture. But for the sake of our discussion, I will like to highlight verses 19-22 and 35 as it has something to say about united prayer and forgiveness as follows:

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Matthew 18:18-22, 35

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18 Truly I tell you, whatever you forbid and declare to be improper and unlawful on earth must be ]what is already forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit and declare proper and lawful on earth must be what is already permitted in heaven.

19 Again I tell you, if two of you on earth agree (harmonize together, make a symphony together) about whatever [anything and everything] they may ask, it will come to pass and be done for them by My Father in heaven.

20 For wherever two or three are gathered (drawn together as My followers) in (into) My name, there I Am in the midst of them.

21 Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and [d]let it go? [As many as] up to seven times?

22 Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven!

35 So also My Heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses.

We can see from the text above that in the place of prayer of agreement with others in verses 18-20, our petitions have to be in agreement with Matthew 6:10 for those prayers to gain the traction required for fulfilment. – Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as in heaven concerning the 5 realms – Self, Family, Church, My nation and Other Nations.

We also see from 21-22 that we need to forgive as much as 490 times. In fact, in some other gospels it says in one day. it reads..

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Luke 17:3-4 NIV

So watch yourselves. “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says , ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”

The only way, one can begin to follow this command of Jesus is for us to begin to see reason from a different paradigm why we must forgive. We must realize that we are wounded people walking around. Deep, hidden wounds from our earthly fathers and mothers, wounds from siblings and neighbors. Wounds that run deep that we don’t even realize it is having negative influence on us and defiling others. Secondly, we must realize that we are sinners and miss the mark continuously and God continues to forgive us. So, why should we forgive others?

God is permitted to forgive us when we forgive others. But another way, the measure to which we forgive others will be the measure God will forgive us. Jesus said so succinctly in the above verse and also in the sermon on the mount.. read..

Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins might find it difficult to forgive others when they wrong us.

Wounded people keep wounding others without realizing it. That was why Jesus on the cross said in Luke 23:34

New International Version

34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”[a] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

And if you think because Jesus is God and could handle it, let us hear from another witness and disciple of Christ – Ask Stephen in Acts 7:60 (NKJV) “Then he [Stephen] knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.”

What excuse do we have?

Getting Past Your Childhood

In getting past your childhood, David Stoop said that the bible makes it clear that the only way we can put negative parts of the past behind us is through forgiveness – unlimited forgiveness. Like Peter, we struggle with this.

Our problem with forgiving comes mainly from four myths about it.

  1. Myth: Forgiveness is something we do quickly
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Sometimes it takes time for us to work through the hurts involved. We can’t easily forgive because sin does real, lasting damage. Yet God has made forgiveness possible through the completed work of Jesus Christ on the cross. If we are willing to take the necessary time to forgive, we can do it.

2. Myth: Forgiveness is the same as condoning what the person did.

Many people withhold forgiveness because they believe that to forgive is to condone the offense that occurred. But true forgiveness never condones the wrong. No one hates sin more than God, yet God forgives. Sin is serious – That is made clear by the high price that Jesus Christ paid on the cross.

When we forgive, we acknowledge that wrong has been done, but we don’t condone it.

3. Myth: In order to forgive, we must forget.

We often support this mistaken idea with verses such as Psalm 103:12, which says that God removes our sins ‘as far away from us as the east is from the west” – that is, “He forgets.” But when we insist that our forgiving must be just like God’s, we lose sight of the fact that God doesn’t need to learn from the experience, we do- and to learn, we must remember. If we do not, we will repeatedly place ourselves in hurtful situations. To forgive does not necessarily mean to forget.

4. Myth: Forgiveness and reconciliation are the same.

Some believe that in order to forgive, we must first be reconciled with the offender. We read Matthew 5:23 ( “Apologize and be reconciled”) and believe that this teaching makes forgiveness and reconciliation the same. But what if the person I am seeking to forgive refuses to be reconciled? Then am I unable to forgive? Not at all. Forgiveness and reconciliation are completely separate. When one person refuses reconciliation, or dead or unreachable, the other can still forgive.

The truth about forgiveness.

Forgiveness is canceling of a debt that cannot be paid. When God forgave all our sins, “He took this list of sins and destroyed it {canceled it} by nailing it to Christ’s cross” (Colossians 2:14).

Whatever someone has done to us, we need to acknowledge that he or she can never “pay the debt.” When a bank cannot collect payment on a debt, it carefully investigates whether there is any hope of ever collecting payment, and if there isn’t, it forgives the loan- cancels the debt.

We must learn to forgive others regardless of their ability or willingness to “pay the debt” we feel they owe us for whatever wrong was done.

Most often, whatever is owed to us can never be paid back anyway.

In Jesus day, rabbis said that a person should forgive three times. Why did Jesus stretch Peter’s number to 490 times? Because He wants us to realize that forgiveness is at the very heart of God.  If we want to be set free from the bondage of the past, we can find that freedom through forgiving.

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We are like the servant in the parable of the unforgiving debtor (Matthew 18:23-35), who was forgiven a debt he could never repay. Gratitude for our canceled debt must make us into forgiving people. We have been forgiven, and now we need to go home and forgive. Its not easy, but families who do will thrive.

Questions for Reflection:

  1. What happens if the other person denies the issue or refuses to hear us out? Can we be unreconciled and still forgive? See Matthew 5:23-24 and also Genesis 26:26-29, Matthew 18:15-17; Philippians 4:2-3 and Philemon 1:25
  2. What role dos anger play in forgiveness? Often, someone who forgives but holds on to anger ends up simply excusing the other person’s behavior. How can we be angry without sinning? (Ephesians 4:26) in our process of forgiveness?
  3. Read through Genesis 42:1-50:26. Joseph had already forgiven his brothers, and he was testing them to see how they felt about the wicked deed they had done to him. He wanted to know if he could be reconciled to them. What tests could you use to see if the person you have forgiven is ready to reconcile?

May the Lord grant us grace as we deliberately commit to let go of bitterness, anger and unforgiveness and let God have His way in in the matter and in our lives in Jesus name, Amen

Success comes only when we have no skeletons in our cupboard – This statement works for the bishop, the priest and those on the pews. Hindrances to prayers, spiritual and all round success in life can be averted when we keep clean house – spirit, soul and body!


Minister Monday Ogwuojo Ogbe

Otakada Cyber Church Ministries

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