Clinging to God in Difficult Times
On New Year’s Eve in 2002, I was still unsure how we would be spending the evening. I never expected that I would be in the waiting room of an ICU. To my shock and horror, my two-month-old granddaughter, Shayla, was in a near coma and her prognosis was grim.
Feeling powerless
The reality of this situation was difficult to take in. I felt shock, helplessness, and was operating on sheer instinct. The only thing I could do was pray. I was powerless and I knew that I needed God as I have never needed Him before. I just kept crying out to God through my tears, “Please help us, Lord!” As we waited at the emergency room to see what would happen next, I began to call all my close friends, asking them to pray for God to watch over Shayla and to give our family strength. My calls were made through tears and a quivering voice of desperation. I knew that prayers were all that would help and I needed to know that others were joining me in lifting these petitions up to God in heaven.
As the situation grew worse and the baby was transferred to the children’s hospital, the numbness and sheer need intensified. I felt so very small and powerless. I had an overwhelming need to rely on God’s power, strength, healing, and comfort. After finally being able to see Shayla hours later, hooked up to a feeding tube, breathing tube, and direct line IVs (about eight tubes in all), my family went back to the waiting room and my daughter and I spent the night there. Sleep was almost impossible to find — we only managed a few hours due to sheer exhaustion.
The only place I found strength
I found a Bible in the waiting room and opened it to Psalm 91. A few months earlier I had written out this psalm as a prayer from myself to God. That is one of my favorite ways to pray, knowing that God’s Word is alive, true, and faithful. Little did I know how significant that would be to me in the next few days. I prayed that psalm over and over, crying out to God to hear me and to fulfill His promises of protection for little baby Shayla. I felt like Jacob when he wrestled with God — I could not quit praying. I fell asleep with the Bible on my lap, my hand on the page open to Psalm 91, holding onto the Word of God and refusing to let go. It was the only thing I could do, my only hope and source of strength.
The days went on. Despite several significant crises and losses in my life prior to this, I have never felt so small, so weak, so low, and so weary. The worst was the fourth evening when we had a long meeting with the attending physician. He explained the facts and that it was an hour-by-hour-wait-and-see situation. We asked our questions, with few definite answers. My grandbaby had a subdural hematoma on her brain and it was a waiting game to see if the swelling worsened, if surgery would be required, if she would wake up, if she would be able to move her right side, and the unspoken — if she would live.
After this meeting, I knew that I could not speak without crying and I did not want to upset my daughter so I went down to the hospital chapel, which thankfully was unoccupied. There I cried from the pit of my being out to God to heal my grandbaby out of His mercy and love. He had created her and had a plan and a purpose for her. I clung to His attributes and His promises. He is the Great Physician and I begged Him to heal my dear grandbaby. I called on Him to act out of His love and goodness and power. Our love for her was overwhelmingly piercing and I knew that God loved her even more than we do. I cried, begged and prayed until I was too exhausted to do so anymore. Then I just trusted God to reveal Himself as the mighty, loving God that He is.
He is always faithful
As the beginning of a miraculous recovery, the next night Shayla’s breathing tube was removed and her seizures stopped occurring. I was at church the next morning and tears streamed down my face as I sang along to the Hillsong’s Made Me Glad. I clung to the words of that song over and over through the weeks ahead: “You are my Shield, my Strength, my Fortress, Deliverer… my ever present help in time of need.” After 17 days, Shayla was released from the hospital and is now doing most of what she should be for her age.
I learned many lessons during these months and have a new level of faith, love, and dependence on God. I want to share with you a few key points.
- The most important thing you can do in any situation is pray. If you feel God is calling you into a deeper prayer life with Him, do not resist it. I know now that the previous years I had spent studying prayer, being in intercessory groups, and having personal prayer times, prepared me to fight in prayer for my family during this very difficult time.
- Focus on who God is. Focus on His attributes and that He is a great, powerful God, even when we are very small and weak. Listen to praise and worship music. It will minister to your heart and soul and help you enter into prayer and to experience the presence of God. Worship is also spiritual warfare.
- Ask those you trust to join you in praying for your need. Praying friends and family are one of God’s ways to strengthen you during difficult times. The prayers of God’s people, in agreement, ascend to Him like sweet, fragrant incense.
- Read the Word. The psalms are particularly easy to identify with during dark times. Read God’s promises and find hope in the victories others had in the Bible through faith.
- Know that God is with you. Even when it feels like you’re going through utter darkness. He does not cause these troubles, but He does allow them for a purpose that you may never understand. But as you come to know God, you will see that His ways are higher than our ways and that He has the perspective of eternity that we do not. God proved His love for us by having His only Son Jesus suffer on our behalf.
If you are struggling with feelings of despair and helplessness, take a step of faith to trust in God. Be encouraged by the truth that He is always in control and that He desires our best in all circumstances.
When the subject of unanswered prayer comes up, it’s common to hear that sometimes God’s answer is “yes,” sometimes it’s “no,” and other times it’s “not yet.” But there’s another biblical reason for unanswered prayer. Sometimes God’s answer is, “not until you repent.”
It’s this last possibility that we often overlook, because — let’s face it — we enjoy dealing with our sin about as much as we enjoy going to the dentist: how much is this going to hurt? How much will it cost? What will he find wrong?
But let’s suppose you suspect that maybe God’s silence is related to a sinful behavior or attitude in your life. And that maybe you want to get to the bottom of it, no matter what you discover. What should you do next?
We need to be careful here: while some Christians seem loath to examine sin in their own lives, others seem downright obsessed with it. If you are an introspective, navel-gazing type, be careful that your self-assessment does not turn into a never-ending vortex of despair. As believers in Jesus, we must remember that Christ is our righteousness, and that we have God as our Father. God cares about our spiritual condition even more than we do, and if we are walking with Him in truth, His Holy Spirit will convict us of sin when necessary.
But we are called to examine ourselves: “Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord” (Lamentations 3:40). If it seems that God has been silent, here are two questions you can ask yourself:
1. Is my prayer self-centered?
“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” James 4:3
Clearly, some prayers can be motivated by worldly and even wicked desires. Consider the classic prayer, “God please bless me financially so that I can be really generous and put a big tithe in the offering.” When we really mean, “God, make me rich so I can take it easy, buy stuff, and not have to trust you.”
Other times, we may ask for good things, but we have self-serving motives:
We may pray that our kids would behave well, so that others think well of us. We may pray for an effective and growing ministry, so that others applaud us. We may pray that God would take away our illness, problem, or difficult relationship, so that we don’t have to go through the trial and be forced to grow.
If we ask for things with wrong motives, why should God answer our prayers? He is too good of a Father to do that. He will not give us things that will destroy our souls or stunt our spiritual growth; He will not give us the candy we crave if it’s vegetables that we really need.
2. Am I cherishing sin?
“If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.…” Psalm 66:18
Have you ever considered that it is merciful for God to ignore our prayers if we are cherishing sin in our hearts? Because it signals that something is wrong and needs to change. God loves us too much to allow us to deceive ourselves into thinking we can treasure both our sin and Him as Savior at the same time.
How can I cherish the very sins that caused my Lord to suffer? How can I delight in that which led to my Savior’s death? If I am cherishing sin, then it’s time to confess and repent of that sin and “put to death the misdeeds of the body” (Romans 8:13). In Christ, we not only have forgiveness of our sins; by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can be free of them.
Of course, there are other biblical reasons beyond what I’ve discussed here. In our finitude, we often simply cannot know the reasons why God does not answer our prayer (Deuteronomy 29:29). But when the reasons remain a mystery, we do know that our Father in heaven is good and that He has demonstrated His love by sending His Son for us — the Son who said:
“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:11
Are You Experiencing the Spirit-Filled Life?
What words would you use to describe your current experience as a Christian? Growing. Frustrated. Disappointing. Fulfilled. Forgiven. Stuck. Struggling. Joyful. Defeated. Exciting. Up and down. Empty. Discouraged. Duty. Intimate. Mediocre. Painful. Dynamic. Guilty. Vital. So-so. Do you desire more?
Jesus said, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him” (John 7:37-38). What did Jesus mean? John, the biblical author, went on to explain, “By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified” (John 7:39). Jesus promised that God’s Holy Spirit would satisfy the thirst, or deepest longings, of all who believe in Jesus Christ. However, many Christians do not understand the Holy Spirit or how to experience Him in their daily lives.
The following principles will help you understand and enjoy God’s Spirit.
The Divine Gift
God has given us His Spirit so that we can experience intimacy with Him and enjoy all He has for us. The Holy Spirit is the source of our deepest satisfaction.
- The Holy Spirit is God’s permanent presence with us (John 14:16,17).
- The Holy Spirit enables us to understand and experience all God has given us (1 Corinthians 2:12).
The Holy Spirit enables us to experience many things:
- A genuine new spiritual life (John 3:1-8).
- The assurance of being a child of God (Romans 8:15-16).
The infinite love of God (Romans 5:5; Ephesians 3:18-19).

“The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit” (1 Corinthians 2:14). “The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments,… But we have the mind of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 2:15-16). “But those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit” (Romans 8:5, NLT).
The Present Danger
Why are many Christians not satisfied in their experience with God?
We cannot experience intimacy with God and enjoy all He has for us if we fail to depend on His Spirit. People who trust in their own efforts and strength to live the Christian life will experience failure and frustration, as will those who live to please themselves rather than God.
- We cannot live the Christian life in our own strength (Galatians 3:3).
- We cannot enjoy all God desires for us if we live by our self-centered desires (Galatians 5:17).
Three Kinds of Lifestyles

“Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual, but as worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?” (1 Corinthians 3:1-3).
The Intimate Journey
How can we develop a lifestyle of depending on the Spirit?
By walking in the Spirit we increasingly experience intimacy with God and enjoy all He has for us.

Walking in the Spirit moment by moment is a lifestyle. It is learning to depend upon the Holy Spirit for His abundant resources as a way of life.
- As we walk in the Spirit, we have the ability to live a life pleasing to God (Galatians 5:16, 25).<
- As we walk in the Spirit, we experience intimacy with God and all He has for us (Galatians 5:22-23).
Faith (trust in God and His promises) is the only way a Christian can live by the Spirit.
Spiritual breathing is a powerful word picture which can help you experience moment-by-moment dependence upon the Spirit.
- Exhale: Confess your sin the moment you become aware of it—agree with God concerning it and thank Him for His forgiveness, according to 1 John 1:9 and Hebrews 10:1–25. Confession requires repentance — a change in attitude and action.
- Inhale: Surrender control of your life to Christ, and rely upon the Holy Spirit to fill you with His presence and power by faith, according to His command (Ephesians 5:18) and promise (1 John 5:14-15).
How does the Holy Spirit fill us with His power?
His Empowering Presence
We are filled with the Spirit by faith, enabling us to experience intimacy with God and enjoy all He has for us. The essence of the Christian life is what God does in and through us, not what we do for God. Christ’s life is reproduced in the believer by the power of the Holy Spirit. To be filled with the Spirit is to be directed and empowered by Him. By faith, we experience God’s power through the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 3:16-17).
Three important questions to ask yourself:
- Am I ready now to surrender control of my life to our Lord Jesus Christ? (Romans 12:1-2)
- Am I ready now to confess my sins? (1 John 1:9) Sin grieves God’s Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). But God in His love has forgiven all of your sins — past, present, and future — because Christ has died for you.
- Do I sincerely desire to be directed and empowered by the Holy Spirit? (John 7:37-39)
By faith claim the fullness of the Spirit according to His command and promise. God commands us to be filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). God promises He will always answer when we pray according to His will (1 John 5:14-15).
The Turning Point
We are filled with the Holy Spirit by faith alone. Sincere prayer is one way of expressing our faith. The following is a suggested prayer:
Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ’s death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. I now thank You for filling me with the Holy Spirit and directing my life. Amen.
Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? If so, you can pray right now and trust God to fill you with His Holy Spirit.
How to know that you are filled by the Holy Spirit
Did you ask God to fill you with the Holy Spirit? Yes? Then you are now filled with the Holy Spirit. On what authority? (On the trustworthiness of God Himself and His Word: Hebrews 11:6; Romans 14:22-23). As you continue to depend on God’s Spirit moment by moment you will experience and enjoy intimacy with God and all He has for you— a truly rich and satisfying life.
Do Not Depend on Feelings
The promise of God’s Word, the Bible — not our feelings — is our authority. The Christian lives by faith (trust) in the trustworthiness of God Himself and His Word. Flying in an airplane can illustrate the relationship among fact (God and His Word), faith (our trust in God and His Word), and feeling (the result of our faith and obedience) (John 14:21). To be transported by an airplane, we must place our faith in the trustworthiness of the aircraft and the pilot who flies it. Our feelings of confidence or fear do not affect the ability of the airplane to transport us, though they do affect how much we enjoy the trip. In the same way, we as Christians do not depend on feelings or emotions, but we place our faith (trust) in the trustworthiness of God and the promises of His Word.
Now That You are Filled with the Holy Spirit
God that the Spirit will enable you:
- To glorify Christ with your life (John 16:14).
- To grow in your understanding of God and His Word (1 Corinthians 2:14-15).
- To live a life pleasing to God (Galatians 5:16-23). Remember the promise of Jesus: “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8).
If you just prayed the prayer above, please let us know in the form in the Connect tab. You’ll get more information on what it means to live a spirit-filled life and you’ll have an option to talk to a mentor if you have questions.
19 Ways to Encourage Others
Encouragement goes straight to the heart. In fact, the word itself comes from a combination of the prefix en which means “to put into” and the Latin root cor which means “heart”. Knowing what a big difference encouragement makes in your own life, what can you do to help others to take heart when the going gets tough and the way feels long?
1. Learn individuals’ “love languages,” the special ways in which they feel most valued. In his book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman explains that not everyone’s emotional needs are met in the same way, and that it’s important to learn to speak others’ love languages. The five love languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
2. If an encouraging thought comes to mind, share it! It may not have the same effect if you wait. Don’t let shyness hold you back. Instead, form a new habit: “Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today…” Hebrews 3:13
3. When you introduce someone, add a few words of praise for the person’s abilities, accomplishments, about how they’ve helped you or about the nature of your relationship. It’s encouraging to be praised in front of others.*
4. Send flowers. A surprise delivery makes any occasion or accomplishment feel more momentous, and is a tangible sign that you are thinking of someone even when they’re not around.
5. When someone is discouraged or hurting, offer specific, practical help. If you ask, “How can I help?” the person might be at a loss to answer. It’s better to ask, “Would it help if I…” or say, “I would like to…”
6. Update your address book. In a digital world, there’s nothing like receiving a hand-written note in the mail.
7. Remind fellow Christians of the specific promises of God and characteristics of God. We may know something with our mind, but need to be reminded in our heart. The Apostle Peter wrote, “I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have.” 2 Peter 1:12
8. Write someone a note to tell them that you’re praying for them. Tell them what you’re praying. You can pray specific Scriptures for individuals such as Romans 15:13, “[I pray that] the God of hope [will] fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
9. Make celebration a more regular part of your relationships. Celebrate others’ victories, large and small with a note, coffee together, a special meal, a congratulatory phone call, or just a high-five!
10. Be specific when you offer words of praise; it makes your encouragement more credible and concrete: “You did a great job at…”, “I really appreciate that you…”, “I was really impressed that you…”
11. Encourage other believers with a reminder of Christ’s coming. It redirects our thinking to an eternal perspective and ultimate deliverance from the sin and death. “We who are still alive and are left will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17b-18
12. Realize the power of presence. Just being there can be encouraging! When you’re with others, you’re telling them that they’re important. The Apostle Paul closed his letter to the church at Colossae promising to send his friend Tychius “that he may encourage your hearts.” Colossians 4:8b
13. If you’re part of a church, Bible study or fellowship, be committed to showing up. Your presence encourages others that they are part of a community of faith and that they are not alone. That’s why the writer of Hebrews says, “Let us not give up the habit of meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as we see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:25
14. If someone you know is working on a large project, send her a single flower to encourage her at the beginning of the project, and a full bouquet when it’s done.*
15. Use encouragement as an outreach. If anyone should be known for being an encourager, it should be the Christian. Write a letter of appreciation to people at work, your apartment manager, your child’s teacher, or your doctor. Often when we interact with these people, we are asking for their services. Take time just to say thank you!*
16. If you really want to encourage someone who gives you excellent service, write a letter of commendation to the person’s boss.*
17. We could learn something from the way team athletes freely pat, touch and high-five each other in competition. Touch is a powerful encouragement. Be sure to be sensitive in this area, though. Ask someone if you can hug her first. And be careful to be above reproach with persons of the opposite sex.*
18. When you see someone making positive changes in their lives, affirm them. “You seem to have a really great attitude about…”, “It may be that I’m just starting to take notice, but I see that you’re…”, “Do you think that you are becoming more…?”
19. Tell people how they’ve encouraged you!
Choose one or two items on this list to encourage someone in your life today!
31 Ways to Pray for Our Youth
This list of 31 biblically-grounded ideas will help you pray God’s heart for the youth in your life. Start with the person’s name in mind. Then work down the list, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you as you pray Scripture for them.
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Pray for a spirit of humility.
“The willingness to submit” (James 4:10).
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Pray for a spirit of reverence.
“The fear of the Lord” (Proverbs 9:10).
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Pray for a spirit of purity.
“A desire to be clean” (Matthew 5:8).
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Pray for a spirit of purpose.
“A wisdom to set goals” (Proverbs 4:25).
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Pray for a spirit of simplicity.
“A lifestyle uncluttered” (Romans 12:8).
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Pray for a spirit of commitment.
“A dedication to the ‘cause'” (Joshua 24:15).
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Pray for a spirit of diligence.
“A willingness to work hard” (2 Peter 1:5)
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Pray for a spirit of servanthood.
“The ministry of helps” (Galatians 6:9-10).
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Pray for a spirit of consistency.
“The quality of faithfulness” (James 1:8).
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Pray for a spirit of assurance.
“A depth of faith” (Hebrews 10:22).
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Pray for a spirit of availability.
“A willingness to go” (Isaiah 6:8).
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Pray for a spirit of loyalty.
“A zeal for fidelity” (Ruth 1:16).
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Pray for a spirit of sensitivity.
“Openness of heart” Luke 10: 30-37).
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Pray for a spirit of compassion.
“Love in action” (Mark 8:1-2).
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Pray for a spirit of tenderness.
“A willingness to weep” (2 Kings 22:19).
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Pray for a spirit of maturity.
“The capacity to grow” (Hebrews 5: 12-14).
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Pray for a spirit of holiness.
“Christ-like behavior” (1 Peter 1:16).
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Pray for a spirit of reliability.
“A depth of dependability” (1 Corinthians 4:2).
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Pray for a spirit of revelation.
“Learning to listen” (Ephesians 1:15,18).
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Pray for a spirit of self-denial.
“A sacrifice to surrender” (Luke 9:23).
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Pray for a spirit of confidence.
“A baptism of boldness” (Philipians 4:13).
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Pray for a spirit of integrity.
“The quality of truthfulness” (Romans 12:17).
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Pray for a spirit of repentance.
“A willingness to change” (Luke 3:8).
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Pray for a spirit of trust.
“A fearless reliance” (Psalm 125:1).
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Pray for a spirit of submission.
“Choosing to yield” (Ephesians 5:21).
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Pray for a spirit of teachability.
“A quality of meekness” (Titus 3:2).
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Pray for a spirit of prayer.
“A longing to wait” (Isaiah 40:31).
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Pray for a spirit of unity.
“A respect for others” (1 Corinthians 1:10).
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Pray for a spirit of restoration.
“A ministry of healing” (Isaiah 61:1-2).
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Pray for a spirit of authority.
“A capacity to command” (Matthew 16:19).
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Pray for a spirit of generosity.
“The desire to give” (Matthew 10:8).