#sex #pastorsexlife #relationship #intimacy
Wednesday 19th of October 2022
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PASTOR’S SEXUAL LIFE and life lessons for YOU
I’m fully convinced that pastors and ministry leaders that want to be highly effective must face up squarely to this issue today. Just few weeks ago in Lagos, a Pentecostal church pastor was exposed by the media in his attempt to sleep with a student for admission into university. Another one was killed by the irate husband of a church member. Why? The man caught the pastor pants down having sex with his wife!
In reaction to my book, ’Sexual Purity in Leadership’ a man wrote “If I open my mouth to talk of what my pastor friends are doing with women in and outside their churches, many Christians will become muslims”. What terrible words! Furthermore, I’ve heard amazing confessions since the publications of the book that necessitate that we take a dispassionate look at this issue over and over again in our pastoral and leadership Responsibilities
A.Biblical Foundation. 1 Cor. 7:4-5; 1 Thess. 4:3-4; Prov. 5:15-19. Gen. 4:1; 24:67.
Sex was created by God to be enjoyed within the boundaries of marriage. God did not create sex for everyone to practise it. Rather, He sets a BOUNDRY- it is only for married people- male and female. Pastors must therefore marry and have a fruitful and fulfiling sexual life. 1 Cor. 7:1-5. Godly pastors must handle their sexuality with God’s grace because the church today have been invaded with emotionally weak members who have become ‘willing sexual predators’ in the hand of the devil to seduce and make pastors to fall into immoral sins. Young girls, married women, ladies, single parents, widows, widowers, women and men with high libidos are not left out of this pervasion in modern churches.
Pastors are not angels- they are human beings that have blood running in their veins. They are therefore susceptible to sexual desires and fulfilment. Highly effective pastors that want to please God must be healthy in their sexual life, else, they will ruin their lives, testimonies and church will sexual scandals that will become stains that stays.
*Pastors must be rightly informed and knowledgeable about wholesome sex.
*Pastors will have to handle sexual issues in their pastoral and counselling ministry.
*Pastors are visible people and therefore subject to sexual temptation.
*Secret sexual bondage of whatever kind will ultimately ruin your ministry and you.
*Lack of sexual fulfilment in marriage will surely lead to great disasters.
*Satan and his agents always use sexual temptation to destroy pastors.
1 Cor. 10:8; Rev. 2:13-14,15; Prov. 7:26-27; Neh. 13:26.
*True pastors must be free from lust, immoral thoughts and sexual pervasion if they hope to last long in this work and get to heaven. Bishop Earl Pulk, Jimmy Swaggart, Robert Liadon and Ted Haggard are enough examples for those who are wise.
B.Sexual Abuse by Pastoral leaders.Neh. 13:26; Gen. 49:3-4.
In the average church, women are always much more than men and many corrupt leaders have taken advantage of this. Many pastors, both male and female have been abusive in this area. They have sexually molest, harass and take advantage of others by virtue of their position.
Check these true stories:
#Pastors who slept with secretaries in the church.
#Associate pastors and personal assistants who slept with choir members.
#Pastors who slept repeatedly with those who came for counselling.
#Pastors who taught that he must do deliverance for the private part of women before they can become members.
#Pastors who gave birth to children in every church they were transfered to.
#Pastors who slept with those that wanted to be married in their churches.
#Pastors who picks regular sexual partners in the guise of private prayers.
#Female pastors, pastors’ wives and lady evangelists that allowed deacons, pastors, associates pastors to have it with them.
#Pastors who regularly slept with their biological daughters and daughters in the Lord.
#Pastors who slept with maids, sisters-in-law and relations in their houses.
Without any iota of doubt, they all ended up badly in life and ministry because they fail to repent and renounce their sexual pervasion in the house of the Lord.
In my years of researching this issue, am yet to meet a man or woman of God that is immoral, sexually pervaded and yet had a lasting, growing work for the Lord.They all get ruined by their secret immoral lifestyles.
God frowns and will judge leaders who are involved in sexual pervasion. These stories are nauseting but true and many more are coming out everyday in both the prints and electronics media.
Pastors fall into these abuses as a result of:
* Bondage to lust, immorality and sinfulness.
*An undisciplined and uncontrollable sexua life.
*Unsatisfactory sexual life in marriage.
*Counselling session with those who arouses them sexually
*Lack of complete freedom when they got saved (If at all they are)
*Body tension and inward fire towards a particular member.
*Pride and carelessness with the opposite sex.
*Walking at the brink of sin and boasting that ‘I cannot fall’.
*Denials, concealment and cover up.
*Discovery, shame and loss of name and work.
*Demonic traps, enslavement and seduction.
I’ve known pastors who are busy preaching here and there, yet secretly are battling with sexual abuse in their life and ministries. One of them lost 68 churches by sleeping with one of his staff; another one had his church and ministry closed down because he eloped with the wife of a rich member.
C.Spiritual Implication of Sexual Laxity.
Sex is much more than physical union of the organs of the body. It is a spiritual thing. It is an avenue for transferance of blessing or curse. Whoever you have it with have power over you. Part of you have gone out and will never return to you. Cheaper and free sex is available in today’s church and ministry because of the followings;
*It is used to ruin many young men. Prov. 7:26-27.-Remember Reuben
*It is used by the devil to ruin people.Rev. 2:14,20.- People of Sheckem.
*Demonised agents are sent to seduce and entice men. Gen. 39:5-12- Remember Joseph.
*It is used to entice someone with bright future. Prov. 6:23-33.
*It is an avenue to destroy one’s great destinyProv. 5:7-14; 1 Chron. 5:1.
*It brings God’s wrath and judgement. Num. 25:1-9; 1 Sam. 2:22,30;
Lev. 18:15-25.
*Many strong men has been ruined by it. Neh. 13:26. – Solomon, Absalom, Amnon, Samson.
*Occultic powers use it to ruin men and kill them.
*Death, destruction, poverty and penury has been brought on men and women through unwholesome sex. Pro. 7:24-27.
If you have any precious thing in your life- dreams, money, gifts, anointing, talent and great future – the devil will always give you free sex so as to trap and ruin you.
D.Sexual Purity in Pastoral Ministry.Numbers 25:6-13; 1 Cor. 9:27
The choice is yours-you can decide to be a Phinehas for God or be in the cesspool of sexual pervasion seen all around us today. Phinehas stood for God and for godliness, even when everybody was doing it, and God honoured him.
How can you be a Phinehas for God?
1.Celebrate Purity in Pastoral Ministry
It is not a sin to be fully complete in body.
It’s not a sin to have sexual desires and passion inside your body. It’s a sigh that you are full blooded human being, but it must be controlled and disciplined by you. Sex was not created by satan, but by God. Once we do it according to the dictates of God, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
2.Seek Freedom from past Entanglements.
If you need to seek for deliverance from sexual addiction, masturbation, pornography and emotional sexing, please do. The spirit of lust must be renounced and demonic bondage broken in your heart and life
3.Enjoy your Marriage.Prov. 5:15-21.
Many pastors are enduring rather than enjoying their marriages simply because they did not pay attention to their partner and take time to nurture their marriage.
Be properly married and stay married. It is better to marry than to burn. Nurture your marriage with love, time, care and maturity. Normally, marriage should be able to give you sexual fulfilment.
4.Practise Self-discipline1 Cor. 9:27.
Even when you have all the food in your house, you should still be able to fast, so also is the issue of sex. Don’t let your flesh rule, ruin and destroy you. Learn to keep your body under, saying no to the desire of the flesh.
5.Draw a Line of Boundry which must never be crossed, from the first day of your relationship with the opposite sex in the office, Church and outings.
Do not play on anyone’s emotion. Let your motive be clear from the onset.
6.Don’t touch, hug, pat, embrace and play with opposite sex as a habit.
Some ‘innocent’ touch can spark a fire that will consume you.
7.Don’t go anywhere alone or counsel alone in the office behind closed doors.
Always leave a witness to your actions and life. Stop playing with fire else, it will consume you.
8.Stop visiting Daughters, Members, Maids, Relations, Single Mothers Divorcees and Widows alone in their houses nor should they visit you alone.
Your house is not a hospital or mission station. Do not allow them to sleep over, especially when your wife is not around.
9.Run away and stop chatting with women that arouses you
sexually.
He that runs away today lives to fight another day.
10.Soak your Body, Soul and Spirit in Prayer and the Word of God.
1 John 5:5-8.
Pray out any strange and immoral thought, deeds or feelings from your body. Let the word, blood and spirit of God wash and burn anything strange that you might have contacted in your course of ministry and ministrations.
With all these steps, then You can be free from immoralities, sexual pervasion and loose lifestyles that has brought the church of God and many pastors into disrepute in the world today.
And if you happen to find yourself entangled in secret sexual pervasion, seek for mentoring, accountability and repentant prayers, counsel from real, true, godly, matured and spiritual fathers that the Lord can use to set you free and restored you back to the Lord and pathway of redemptive living. You may have to quit ministry for some months to achieve this, lest you fall more from grace to grass!
Francis Akin-john
I hope you learned something from this article today.
Send us your views and experience
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Originally posted on October 20, 2022 @ 1:24 pm
