Peace or Pride? Why You Can’t Keep Both
How Choosing Humility Heals the Wounds That Pride Keeps Open
Blog link – https://www.otakada.org/peace-or-pride-why-you-cant-keep-both/
Michael was tired—but not in his body. His soul was exhausted.
The drive home from church that Sunday was quiet. His wife sat in silence, again. His teenage daughter had stayed behind, choosing to ride with another family—again. The atmosphere in the car was thick, but familiar.
Earlier that morning, it had happened again.
The usher made a casual comment—“Try to come earlier next time, sir.” Innocent. Maybe even helpful. But to Michael, it felt like judgment. Like disrespect. Like another attack on his dignity. So, like every other time, he responded with cold silence and a sharp remark: “I don’t need lectures from people who don’t know my life.”
And then… he stormed out.
Again.
But This Wasn’t Just Church.
The same tension followed him to the office on Monday. A junior colleague shared a suggestion during the weekly meeting. Michael, the manager, felt challenged. Undermined. Embarrassed.
He interrupted the young man mid-sentence.
“Next time, run your ideas through me before bringing them here.”
The room went quiet. The suggestion was shelved. The employee’s shoulders dropped.
And yet again, Michael felt a strange mix of power and pain. Why did he always feel attacked? Why did he always have to be right? Why did peace keep slipping through his fingers?
Even Home Wasn’t Safe
At home, the air was no better.
His wife had learned to walk on eggshells. Every little question—“Why are you late?” or “Did you remember the meeting?”—could set him off. His daughter avoided him. His son hardly spoke at all.
The house wasn’t a home anymore. It was a silent battlefield.
And Michael was the general of every fight, even the ones no one else was having.
The Mirror Moment
One evening, an old friend dropped by. They had grown up together—served in church together—but life had taken them in different directions. After listening to Michael vent for 20 minutes about “disrespectful church members,” “immature staff,” and a “disconnected family,” the friend gently asked:
“Michael… what if the common factor isn’t them? What if it’s pride?”
Silence.
It was the first time in years that Michael didn’t have a comeback.
That night, he sat alone in his car, trembling—not from anger, but from awakening. Tears ran down his cheeks as Psalm 139 echoed in his spirit:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart… point out anything in me that offends you…”
— Psalm 139:23–24 (NLT)
Michael didn’t need another apology. He needed transformation.
He didn’t need to win another argument. He needed to surrender his pride.
️ Pride Pushes Peace Away
Pride is a thief. It steals peace in your marriage, joy in your parenting, unity at your job, and fellowship in your church. It convinces you that everyone else is the problem, while it tightens its grip around your soul.
“Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.”
— Proverbs 13:10 (NLT)
It feels like strength but is actually weakness masked in self-defense.
It demands control, attention, and validation—and when it doesn’t get it, it lashes out, isolates, and withdraws.
✝️ Jesus Chose Humility—So Must We
Jesus, the King of Kings, washed feet. He endured insults, was betrayed, misunderstood, and mocked. Yet He remained gentle, composed, and forgiving.
“He humbled Himself… and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!”
— Philippians 2:8 (AMP)
He didn’t cling to His rights. He laid them down for peace, for love, and for redemption.
And now He invites us to do the same.
Michael’s Redemption Journey
Michael didn’t change overnight. But he began humbling himself—first before God, then before others.
- He apologized to his wife—not just for his words, but for his silence, his emotional absence, and his pride.
- He took his daughter out for ice cream, just the two of them, and asked: “Can we start over?”
- He called a staff meeting and openly repented for his harshness, asking for accountability.
- And one Sunday morning, he stood before his church—not in anger, but in tears—and asked for their forgiveness.
The man who was once offended by everything was learning the language of humility.
And peace began to return—not in fireworks, but like a soft breeze after a long storm.
✅ What About You?
- Are you always upset at others?
- Are you walking on the edge of anger—at home, at work, at church?
- Do you feel misunderstood, disrespected, or isolated?
Maybe the fight isn’t outside you.
Maybe pride is the real enemy.
️ How to Walk in Peace:
- Ask God to Reveal Hidden Pride
“Create in me a clean heart, O God…” — Psalm 51:10
- Apologize Where You’ve Hurt Others
Even if you feel justified, healing begins with humility. - Practice Listening Before Reacting
“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” — James 1:19
- Value Peace Over Being Right
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…” — Colossians 3:15
A Prayer for the Wounded and Offended:
Lord, I’ve been quick to anger, slow to forgive, and blind to my pride. Please forgive me. Help me lay down my need to be right. Teach me to choose humility. Restore my home, my relationships, and my peace. Replace my pride with grace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Final Word:
You can’t walk in peace while holding hands with pride.
One must be let go.
And only one will lead you to healing.
Shalom!
Ambassador Monday O. Ogbe
God’s Eagle Ministries GEMs
