Two True Stories from Two Women on Depression: “I Was Calling God a Liar”: Can You Love Jesus & Be Depressed? And 5 Psalms for Praying Through Depression

Two True Stories from Two Women on Depression: “I Was Calling God a Liar”: Can You Love Jesus & Be Depressed? And 5 Psalms for Praying Through Depression

#depressed #depression #healing #innerhealing #meditation #contemplation #psalms
#truestories #stories #soul #deliverance #restoration #prayer

Wednesday, December  20th 2023

Blog link: https://www.otakada.org/two-true-stories-from-two-women-on-depression-i-was-calling-god-a-liar-can-you-love-jesus-be-depressed-and-5-psalms-for-praying-through-depression/

Title: Two True Stories from Two Women on Depression: “I Was Calling God a Liar”: Can You Love Jesus & Be Depressed? And 5 Psalms for Praying Through Depression

Let’s read on – You might pick one thing or two from these two stories!

Two True Stories from Two Women on Depression: “I Was Calling God a Liar”: Can You Love Jesus & Be Depressed? And 5 Psalms for Praying Through Depression

“The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” PSALM 9:9

I remember the weight.

Feeling the darkness drag me down to a place I thought even God couldn’t go. Where I was a nothing and nothing really mattered. Where loneliness devoured my insides but no human being could fill the void. In that moment, I knew only the darkness. The joy of the day before was a distant memory and the hope of a brighter tomorrow was impossible to imagine.

That was the reality of my depression.

For many years, I had no concept that I struggled with depression. I was just ‘sensitive’, ‘quiet’, or ‘moody’. I didn’t understand the struggle within me — no words to describe the turmoil that would unexpectedly come and invite itself into my life. And once it entered, it made itself at home in the dark corners of my mind and refused, like a good house guest should, to leave.

As a child, I daydreamed of a different life. Of a different me. As a young adult, I found respite in my music and a busy schedule that kept the darkness at bay.

Then came the decade of change.

I was a Jesus-girl from the time I was 12, and I desired nothing more than to follow Him the rest of my days. We had been together for such a long time, surely I was a professional at all things Jesus by now. But it turns out, there was so much….so so much I didn’t know.

I didn’t know you could love Jesus and be depressed. I didn’t know you could serve in ministry and need ministering yourself. I didn’t know that running from my pain would catch up with me. I didn’t know how to change. I didn’t know where to start.

Thankfully my husband saw that I was not doing well and encouraged me to find help. Because my emotions were wildly swinging in all directions at once, I went on anti-depressants. I speak only for myself when I say that they were exactly what I needed for a time. The muting of my feelings was a gift! I was exhausted from the pendulum swing of my all-consuming emotions  — the calm was a welcome relief! With the help of the anti-depressants, I was able to care for my family — be a wife and a mother — and focus on life beyond my own pain.

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During this time, I also went to see a counselor for the first time. I only went once, but it changed my life! I will never forget her words after listening to my story: “Of course you are depressed! I would be depressed too if I were you! I’d be worried if you weren’t depressed!”

No one had ever given me permission to be sad before. No one had ever validated the feelings that were raging inside. No one had ever said it was ok to be broken and a little crazy. I left her office with a joy that I hadn’t experienced in years — and it stayed for days and days and days.

Amazingly, once my feelings were validated, I wanted more than anything to overcome them. I wanted healing.

One day I was full of the assurance of God’s love and then the next day, I doubted He knew I even existed. On my bad days, I couldn’t grasp the concept of 1 John 3:1 “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God!”

I couldn’t hear it. I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t believe it.

In essence, I was calling God a liar.

Some days it was a battle to believe the truth. Many times I prayed the same prayer as the father who exclaimed, “I do believe;” and yet in the same breath, he cried, “help me overcome my unbelief!”  (Mark 9:24)

Oh, it didn’t change my feelings overnight, but slowly….gradually….I was able to recognize the patterns of my depression. The fog would roll in, the darkness would descend, and I would start to question God’s love for me, His provision, His timing. Left unchecked with these thoughts, I spiraled into a pit that would take days to climb out of.

I can’t promise you will be healed, but I can promise that when you trust the truth more than you trust your feelings, you will stop sinking and your toes will finally hit solid ground.

Let’s read how Rick Hamlin handled hers strictly on 5 scriptures from the Psalms

5 Psalms for Praying Through Depression

These healing words of Scripture can sustain you throughout the day.

*Depression.* It can come on as quite a shock. Often with no rhyme or reason. “What’s wrong with me?” I’ll ask. “Why do I feel so blue?” It can linger, too. Not like a cold or a sore throat that you get over in a matter of days. What to do?

Working with a therapist can be very helpful. Although I’ve never had to take medication, I understand that it can offer relief. But for me, prayer is essential. Praying through the depression with the help of Scripture.

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Every morning as I eat my oatmeal, I read a few Psalms. I can hold on to a verse and feed on its healing words throughout the day, as nutritious as the oatmeal. Here are a few I’ve prayed over the years.

1) I waited patiently for the Lord: he inclined to me and heard my cry. (Psalm 40:1) Waiting. So much of life is waiting. When you’re feeling blue you want God—somebody—to flick a switch and bring the light back into your life. Now, now, now. But there’s power in the mere waiting. Give yourself time. Put yourself in a prayerful place where God can find you.

2) I lift up my eyes to the hills—from where will my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1-2) I remember visiting an elderly woman, the widow of my pastor. All she had was a small studio apartment with a view of the mountains. She gestured to view and said, “I lift up eyes to the hills…” What a poignant reminder. Healing comes from on high.

3) The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18) Nobody knows better how we feel than God. The Lord has a special calling for the brokenhearted, for us when we feel crushed in spirit. What you can’t explain to a loved one, or struggle for words to tell a talk therapist, you can share with God. No need to hide anything. The Lord is right there with us, all the more so when we’re suffering.

4)  But you, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the one who lifts up my head. (Psalm 3:3) Don’t get all caught up in the distractions that fill our days—our phones, emails, the news on TV or our computers. Wherever I look around at a crowd, everybody’s staring down at their phones, heads and shoulders slumped over. The Lord is there to shield us from the worst. God lifts up our heads. Look up.

5) You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy. (Psalm 30:11) Sometimes we forget to mourn. In Biblical times mourning was rigorously practiced. Feeling the excruciating pain of a loss. Feeding it. Sackcloth was a rough, coarse cloth people wore to mark their humility, their suffering. Lowering ourselves, dropping down, asking for God’s mercy, can be exactly what allows us to step back into the dance of life. Allowing ourselves to be clothed with joy.

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Prayer

Dear God, I know I can’t promise that I will be healed, but I can promise that when I choose to trust the truth more than my feelings, I will find rest up on the rock who is your son and my savior. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Questions for reflection Contemplation and application

What have i learnt from these two stories? Does this in anyway reflect my state of emotional affairs in any way? I certainly would need help today!

Talk to us at God’s Eagle Ministries (GEMS ) for insights and counseling: A story once shared is half solved. You never know until you try. Nobody drowning draws themselves out of the water. Fellowship with the brethren in openness and effective counseling does it.

Shalom to You!

Ambassador Monday Oreojo Ogbe
God’s Eagle Ministries  GEMS

Where we are seeding the NATIONs with God’s WORDs and God Himself is transforming lives through His timeless TRUTH! We are ONE in Christ Jesus Let’s stay ONE

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