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Friday, 20th of May 2022
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Title: Perfect Relationships: Seven Toxic Relationship to AVOID, PURGE or MANAGE – Seven God Ordained Relationship to CULTIVATE – Three Grey Areas to WATCH and Five Ways to PURSUE Peace
Sub-Title: Perfect Relationship in Perfect WORDS, WORKS and WONDERS : Seven (7) Seven indicators of toxic relationships to MANAGE, PURGE and AVOID like a PLAGUE + Seven (7) Indicators of God ordained and God modeled relationships to Cherish + Three (3) Grey Areas to Note for toxic relationships to in keep in mind and to guide your relationship decisions and five (5) ways to pursue peace in a toxic relationship
Friends, I welcome you to today’s title, “Perfect Relationships – “Seven Toxic Relationship to AVOID, PURGE or MANAGE – Seven God Ordained Relationship to CULTIVATE – Three Grey Areas to WATCH and Five Ways to PURSUE Peace”, further broken down in subtitle as “Perfect Relationship: Seven (7) indicators of toxic relationships to PURGE and AVOID like a PLAGUE + Seven (7) Indicators of God ordained and God modeled relationships to Cherish + Three (3) Grey Areas to Note for toxic relationships, to in keep in mind and to guide your relationship decisions and five (5) ways to pursue peace in a toxic relationship”
The BIGGEST challenge, the most PAINFUL headache, the GREATEST storms or troubles and the DEEPEST pitfalls in this part of eternity and the other part YOU and I will encounter on a continuous and constant basis is not about getting good HEALTH or great WEALTH or Highest GREATNESS ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters. The BIGGEST LACUNA or GAP is going to be and will continue to be how you and I KEEP, MANAGE and MAINTAIN our RELATIONSHIPS between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Between Spouses and Siblings, Between Fathers and Mothers, Between Friends and Foes both in the physical and in the spiritual realm. In fact, the spiritual realm take precedence over the physical realm. So also, must your spiritual relations and God takes notice of them.
That is why the greatest commandment is not about dos and don’ts or about getting and losing but about RELATIONSHIPS. Before we continue, lets look at this short story:
Short True story about dealing with conflict early:
First of all, making peace doesn’t mean avoiding conflict. A conflict avoided is often a conflict postponed and therefore a conflict that ultimately becomes worse. Peacemaking begins with the honesty and courage to recognize a problem and face it. Without these steps no further progress can be made
Growing up, I remember building a dam in a stream that was flowing down a hillside. The idea was simple: if we blocked the stream, we could create a pool of water deep enough for a swim. It took some time to gather the stones and put them in place, but eventually the dam was built. The pool was formed, and the level of the water began to rise. Time to get ready for a swim! But there was a problem. A small trickle of water had found its way through the rocks. Before long the trickle had moved a few small stones, releasing more water, which then had the force to remove some larger stones. What began as a trickle ended in a flood. Our dam was swept away, the pool emptied, and all our work was lost.
That’s the picture God gives us in Proverbs. The beginning of strife is like the first trickle of water. It may not have seemed like much at the time, but in that trickle lay the potential for a torrent. You’ve probably been in that situation, and you know if you could go back and do it all over again, the outcome could be different. But you can’t go back, so deal with conflict early. Don’t let small resentments take root because if you do, they’ll grow. The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.
Listen to the question this Jewish scribe asked Jesus in Matthew 22:36-40
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
36 Teacher, which [a]kind of commandment is great and important (the principal kind) in the Law? [Some commandments are light—which are heavy?]
37 And He replied to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind (intellect).
38 This is the great (most important, principal) and first commandment.
39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself.
40 These two commandments [b]sum up and upon them depend all the Law and the Prophets.
God gauges with highest regards your relationship with Him by your relationship with others. That is the fruit He looks out for to see if you and I have matured in our work and walk with Him and others.
Read this from 1 John 4:19-21
Complete Jewish Bible
19 We ourselves love now because he loved us first. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar. For if a person does not love his brother, whom he has seen, then he cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21 Yes, this is the command we have from him: whoever loves God must love his brother too.
Now, Before I get into today’s message proper, if you missed the last title, “How God Explained the concept of SPIRIT, SOUL and BODY to me through the mobile phone structure and network and impact on your prayers
And with Sub Title: Perfect Visions and Prayer in Perfect Words, Works and Wonders: Answers God’s Spirit gave me in the secret place concerning Your Spirit, Soul and Body and how that impacts your work and walk with the Lord God – God used Mobile Phone structure and network to give me full clarity to these term + Analysis of what is happening in a lay man’s language when you are praying and how that can help you pray more effectual and fervent to illicit divine response + Some instructions received for the churches and leadership in the just concluded 16th, 40 days prayer and fasting for Church and Leadership in the secret place of waiting”
Follow this link – https://www.otakada.org/how-god-explained-the-concept-of-spirit-soul-and-body-to-me-through-the-mobile-phone-structure-and-network-and-impact-on-your-prayers/
Let’s get answering the first part of the today’s title, “Perfect Relationship: Seven (7) Seven indicators of toxic relationships to PURGE and AVOID like a PLAGUE”
The bible tells you and I in
Hebrews 12:13-15
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
13 And cut through and make firm and plain and smooth, straight paths for your feet [yes, make them safe and upright and happy paths that go in the right direction], so that the lame and halting [limbs] may not be put out of joint, but rather may be cured.
14 Strive to live in peace with everybody and pursue that consecration and holiness without which no one will [ever] see the Lord.
15 Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God’s grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it—
Brothers and Sisters, it is easier said than done. We see how war broke out in heaven between satan and the rebellious angels that aligned with him and Gods angel and no room was found for him in heaven. Read this
Revelation 12:7-9
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
7 Then war broke out in heaven; Michael and his angels went forth to battle with the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought.
8 But they were defeated, and there was no room found for them in heaven any longer.
9 And the huge dragon was cast down and out—that age-old serpent, who is called the Devil and Satan, he who is the seducer (deceiver) of all humanity the world over; he was forced out and down to the earth, and his angels were flung out along with him.
And the first ever loving relationship between God and man also broke down in
Genesis 3:22-24Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
22 And the Lord God said, Behold, the man has become like one of Us [the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit], to know [how to distinguish between] good and evil and blessing and calamity; and now, lest he put forth his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live [a]forever—
23 Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the Garden of Eden to till the ground from which he was taken.
24 So [God] drove out the man; and He placed at the east of the Garden of Eden the [b]cherubim and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep and guard the way to the tree of life.
As if that is not enough, the first murder in the bible was between brother and brother – Cain and Abel, same father and same mother. Read this account in
Genesis 4:3-12
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
3 And in the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground.
4 And Abel brought of the firstborn of his flock and of the fat portions. And the Lord had respect and regard for Abel and for his offering,
5 But for [a]Cain and his offering He had no respect or regard. So Cain was exceedingly angry and indignant, and he looked sad and depressed.
6 And the Lord said to Cain, Why are you angry? And why do you look sad and depressed and dejected?
7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin crouches at your door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.
8 And Cain said to his brother, [b]Let us go out to the field. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.
9 And the Lord said to Cain, Where is Abel your brother? And he said, I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?
10 And [the Lord] said, What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood is crying to Me from the ground.
11 And now you are cursed by reason of the earth, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother’s [shed] blood from your hand.
12 When you till the ground, it shall no longer yield to you its strength; you shall be a fugitive and a vagabond on the earth [in perpetual exile, a degraded outcast].
The list of relations woes are endless! How do we then proceed in relationship with all the stakeholders in this part of eternity and the next? Lets answer
Perfect Relationship: Seven (7) Seven indicators of toxic relationships to PURGE and AVOID like a PLAGUE”
I prayed to the Holy Spirit to teach me because I must be fed before anyone else is fed. It was this morning that these points came to me and if you open yourselves you will be blessed also because I am blessed by them. Here they are:
1)You and I cannot relate anyone who thinks that they don’t have a problem because relationships are meant to sharpen one another, to be better people than we met ourselves, look out for heartfelt repentance to restore or establish – Iron Sharpens Iron –Proverbs 27:17, Hebrews 10: 25-31
2)You and I cannot relate to anyone who has concluded that we are their problem – they will never ever listen and look to us we with favor and we must look out for repentance – This is called narrow mindedness – In this world we will have trouble Jesus said in John 16:33, 2 Timothy 3:12
Acts 15:36-39
New Living Translation
Paul and Barnabas Separate
36 After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” 37 Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. 38 But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. 39 Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus.
Paul and John Mark recouncile later in
Apparently, after this, John-Mark and Paul were reconciled; 2 Timothy 4:11b:
Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.
Further evidence of their reconciliation comes from Colossians 4:10, which has an interesting note in the Amplified version:
Aristarchus my fellow prisoner wishes to be remembered to you, as does Mark the relative of Barnabas. You received instructions concerning him; if he comes to you give him a [hearty]a welcome.
3)You and I cannot relate with anyone who thinks they are better than us and cannot learn anything from us because we have nothing to offer and must avoid them until they sincerely change their ways in repentance – We all have blind spots that can be visible only to others..that is why they are called blind spots Matthew 5:48, Mark 10:18
4)You and I cannot relate with anyone who thinks that our very existence is a threat to them and you must avoid this people until they come to repentance if not, they can get possessed with the murderous spirit of Cain and destroy everything about us and eventually ourselves 1 John 3:14
5)You and I Cannot relate with anyone who does not believe in team work. They are prone to errors and can drag everyone along with their errors. John 16:7, 1 Corinthians 3:6, Acts 8:20
6) You and I cannot relate with anyone who loves evil and hates peace and must give them distance until the come to repentance Luke 10:5,6, Philippians 4:6
7) You and I cannot relate with anyone who hates God and anything that bothers around godliness and contentment in us and we must give them some level of distance until they come to repentance Deut 6:4-7; Luke 10:27, John 6:44
The Second part of our title, “Seven (7) Indicators of God ordained and God modeled relationships to Cherish” answers are as follows:
1)You and I can relate with anyone who knows they have a problem and need help and see that we can be tools in God’s hands to bring about the change – Blind Bartimaeus and the poor in spirit – Matthew 5:3; Mark 10:46-52
2)You and I can relate with anyone who don’t see us as a problem of their lives but as a blessing to them.. His own did not accept Him but to those who did, He went to them and manifested to them. And the woman by the well. John 1:11; John 4:29-43
3)You and I can relate with anyone who see that we can complement them in the areas of weakness. God loved the word, gave His son, we accept and come into relationship; Wives submitting to husband and husband loving the wife as Christ the church, Adam had not help. John 3:16; Ephesians 5:22-33, Genesis 2:20 see also 2 Timothy 4:11b
4) You and I can relate with anyone who see our presence as divine orchestration and ordination into their lives. Aaron and Moses in Exodus 4:27, David and Jonathan 1 Samuel 18
5) You and I can relate with anyone who believes in team work for team work is of God – Genesis 1:26 – Let us make man in our image. Team work John16:7 Jesus and Holy Spirit.
6) You and I can relate with anyone who loves righteousness and Justice, merciful, gracious, slow to anger and long suffering because those are the ways of God – It is upon these that the foundation of Gods temple is built – Psalm 89:14-18; Exodus 34:6; Numbers 14:18; 2 Peter 3:9
Numbers 14:18
King James Version
18 The Lord is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.
2 Peter 3:9
King James Version
9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
7)You and I can relate with anyone who loves God and the quality of God in us and desire to be shown the way for that is discipleship, for God is love which are unconditional but responds to us as we respond to His unconditional love towards us. Deut 7:10; Numbers 10:35; John 15:18; Titus 3:1-7, Matthew 22:
Deuteronomy 7:10
but repays those who hate Him to their faces, to destroy them; He will not delay with him who hates Him, He will repay him to his face.
Numbers 10:35
Then it came about when the ark set out that Moses said,
“Rise up, O Lord!
And let Your enemies be scattered,
And let those who hate You flee before You.”
John 15:18
“If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.
Titus 3:1-7
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
3 Remind people to be submissive to [their] magistrates and authorities, to be obedient, to be prepared and willing to do any upright and honorable work,
2 To slander or abuse or speak evil of no one, to avoid being contentious, to be forbearing (yielding, gentle, and conciliatory), and to show unqualified courtesy toward everybody.
3 For we also were once thoughtless and senseless, obstinate and disobedient, deluded and misled; [we too were once] slaves to all sorts of cravings and pleasures, wasting our days in malice and jealousy and envy, hateful (hated, detestable) and hating one another.
4 But when the goodness and loving-kindness of God our Savior to man [as man] appeared,
5 He saved us, not because of any works of righteousness that we had done, but because of His own pity and mercy, by [the] cleansing [bath] of the new birth (regeneration) and renewing of the Holy Spirit,
6 Which He poured out [so] richly upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior.
7 [And He did it in order] that we might be justified by His grace (by His favor, wholly undeserved), [that we might be acknowledged and counted as conformed to the divine will in purpose, thought, and action], and that we might become heirs of eternal life according to [our] hope.
Having said all of these, we need to take 3 things in mind as we look at the third title, “Three (3) Grey Areas to Note for toxic relationships, to in keep in mind and to guide your relationship decisions and five (5) ways to pursue peace in a toxic relationship”
There are those who are already in toxic relationships. Some things to keep in mind are these:
1)In our relationship engagements, we should be led by the Spirit of God and not by the flesh –
Read this: Romans 8:1-18
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
8 Therefore, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging guilty of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live [and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit.
2 For the law of the Spirit of life [which is] in Christ Jesus [the law of our new being] has freed me from the law of sin and of death.
3 For God has done what the Law could not do, [its power] being weakened by the flesh [[a]the entire nature of man without the Holy Spirit]. Sending His own Son in the guise of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, [God] condemned sin in the flesh [[b]subdued, overcame, [c]deprived it of its power over all who accept that sacrifice],
4 So that the righteous and just requirement of the Law might be fully met in us who live and move not in the ways of the flesh but in the ways of the Spirit [our lives governed not by the standards and according to the dictates of the flesh, but controlled by the Holy Spirit].
5 For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and [d]pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and [e]seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit.
6 Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit] is death [death that [f]comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter]. But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever].
7 [That is] because the mind of the flesh [with its carnal thoughts and purposes] is hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to God’s Law; indeed it cannot.
8 So then those who are living the life of the flesh [catering to the appetites and impulses of their carnal nature] cannot please or satisfy God, or be acceptable to Him.
9 But you are not living the life of the flesh, you are living the life of the Spirit, if the [Holy] Spirit of God [really] dwells within you [directs and controls you]. But if anyone does not possess the [Holy] Spirit of Christ, he is none of His [he does not belong to Christ, is not truly a child of God].
10 But if Christ lives in you, [then although] your [natural] body is dead by reason of sin and guilt, the spirit is alive because of [the] righteousness [that He imputes to you].
11 And if the Spirit of Him Who raised up Jesus from the dead dwells in you, [then] He Who raised up Christ Jesus from the dead will also restore to life your mortal (short-lived, perishable) bodies through His Spirit Who dwells in you.
12 So then, brethren, we are debtors, but not to the flesh [we are not obligated to our carnal nature], to live [a life ruled by the standards set up by the dictates] of the flesh.
13 For if you live according to [the dictates of] the flesh, you will surely die. But if through the power of the [Holy] Spirit you are [habitually] putting to death (making extinct, deadening) the [evil] deeds prompted by the body, you shall [really and genuinely] live forever.
14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.
15 For [the Spirit which] you have now received [is] not a spirit of slavery to put you once more in bondage to fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption [the Spirit producing sonship] in [the bliss of] which we cry, Abba (Father)! Father!
16 The Spirit Himself [thus] testifies together with our own spirit, [assuring us] that we are children of God.
17 And if we are [His] children, then we are [His] heirs also: heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ [sharing His inheritance with Him]; only we must share His suffering if we are to share His glory.
18 [But what of that?] For I consider that the sufferings of this present time (this present life) are not worth being compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us and [g]for us and [h]conferred on us!
2)In marriages relations, we don’t have much leeway be careful before you dive into that relationship or dive out – meditate on the scriptures below to help refresh your memory.
Be prayerful before you jump into any marriage relationships -. Make sure it is God sending you into that relationship because when you are in, you have very little leeway to wriggle out your way and are bound by the covenants except in cases of infidelity or keep away if there is danger to life until repentance. God honors covenant either with the enemy or a foe and we learnt that truth with Joshua, the children of Israel and the Gibeonites in Joshua 9. Joshua did not consult with God, signed the covenant with them and God said you must accept it and in Davids day, faming ensured on the land for 3 years, upon enquiry, the=y found out Saul killed some of the Gibeonites. God told them to seek peace with the Gibeonites and the Gibeonites demanded for 7 sons of Saul who was long dead at this time and after that, famine seized from the land. You can read that account in 2 Samuel 21
I like you to meditate on what the scripture says about marriage and divorce before you dive in or dive out
Meditate on these scriptures:
Genesis 2:18-24
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
18 Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.
19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every [wild] beast and living creature of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them; and whatever Adam called every living creature, that was its name.
20 And Adam gave names to all the livestock and to the birds of the air and to every [wild] beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs or a part of his side and closed up the [place with] flesh.
22 And the rib or part of his side which the Lord God had taken from the man He built up and made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 Then Adam said, This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man.
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
1 Corinthians 13:3-8
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
3 Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or [a]in order that I may glory, but have not love (God’s love in me), I gain nothing.
4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
5 It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
6 It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy ([b]the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].
Romans 12:10
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
10 Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another.
Colossians 3:14-17
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
14 And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony].
15 And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].
16 Let the word [spoken by] Christ (the Messiah) have its home [in your hearts and minds] and dwell in you in [all its] richness, as you teach and admonish and train one another in all insight and intelligence and wisdom [in spiritual things, and as you sing] psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, making melody to God with [His] grace in your hearts.
17 And whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus and in [dependence upon] His Person, giving praise to God the Father through Him.
Ephesians 5:21-33
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
21 Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).
22 Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.
23 For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body.
24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
26 So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word,
27 That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless].
28 Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.
29 For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church,
30 Because we are members (parts) of His body.
31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
32 This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning [the relation of] Christ and the church.
33 However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [[a]that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and [b]that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].
Matthew 5:31-32
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
31 It has also been said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.
32 But I tell you, Whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality), causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery.
Mark 10:2-12
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
2 And some Pharisees came up, and, in order to test Him and try to find a weakness in Him, asked, Is it lawful for a man to dismiss and repudiate and divorce his wife?
3 He answered them, What did Moses command you?
4 They replied, Moses allowed a man to write a bill of divorce and to put her away.
5 But Jesus said to them, Because of your hardness of heart [[b]your condition of insensibility to the call of God] he wrote you this [c]precept in your Law.
6 But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female.
7 For this reason a man shall leave [behind] his father and his mother [d]and be [e]joined to his wife and cleave closely to her permanently,
8 And the two shall become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh.
9 What therefore God has united (joined together), let not man separate or divide.
10 And indoors the disciples questioned Him again about this subject.
11 And He said to them, Whoever [f]dismisses (repudiates and divorces) his wife and marries another commits adultery against her;
12 And if a woman dismisses (repudiates and divorces) her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.
Malachi 2:16
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate].
1 Corinthians 7:10-17
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
10 But to the married people I give charge—not I but the Lord—that the wife is not to separate from her husband.
11 But if she does [separate from and divorce him], let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband. And [I charge] the husband [also] that he should not put away or divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I declare—I, not the Lord [for Jesus did not discuss this]—that if any brother has a wife who does not believe [in Christ] and she consents to live with him, he should not leave or divorce her.
13 And if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she should not leave or divorce him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is set apart (separated, withdrawn from heathen contamination, and affiliated with the Christian people) by union with his consecrated (set-apart) wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart and separated through union with her consecrated husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean (unblessed heathen, [a]outside the Christian covenant), but as it is they are [b]prepared for God [pure and clean].
15 But if the unbelieving partner [actually] leaves, let him do so; in such [cases the remaining] brother or sister is not morally bound. But God has called us to peace.
16 For, wife, how can you be sure of converting and saving your husband? Husband, how can you be sure of converting and saving your wife?
17 Only, let each one [seek to conduct himself and regulate his affairs so as to] lead the life which the Lord has allotted and imparted to him and to which God has invited and summoned him. This is my order in all the churches.
3) Pursue peace and don’t avoid conflict and holiness
As much as it is in your power to do so and if not, keep off if the peace over shores comes to bite you as it does not find a landing place either with siblings or other relationship for that matter. – Hebrews 10:14
How then do you pursue peace? Here are 5 Ways to pursue peace
First of all, making peace doesn’t mean avoiding conflict. A conflict avoided is often a conflict postponed and therefore a conflict that ultimately becomes worse. Peacemaking begins with the honesty and courage to recognize a problem and face it. Without these steps no further progress can be made.
Here are five tactics you can deploy to pursue peace.
1. Deal with conflict early.
The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out (Proverbs 17:14).
Growing up, I remember building a dam in a stream that was flowing down a hillside. The idea was simple: if we blocked the stream, we could create a pool of water deep enough for a swim. It took some time to gather the stones and put them in place, but eventually the dam was built. The pool was formed, and the level of the water began to rise. Time to get ready for a swim! But there was a problem. A small trickle of water had found its way through the rocks. Before long the trickle had moved a few small stones, releasing more water, which then had the force to remove some larger stones. What began as a trickle ended in a flood. Our dam was swept away, the pool emptied, and all our work was lost.
That’s the picture God gives us in Proverbs. The beginning of strife is like the first trickle of water. It may not have seemed like much at the time, but in that trickle lay the potential for a torrent. You’ve probably been in that situation, and you know if you could go back and do it all over again, the outcome could be different. But you can’t go back, so deal with conflict early. Don’t let small resentments take root because if you do, they’ll grow. The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.
2. Practice restraint, especially with your tongue.
Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger (James 1:19).
Self-expression is one of the leading idols in our culture, certainly fueled by social media. Peacemakers, however, practice restraint. When a relationship is under strain, you may be tempted to unload, but if you’re a peacemaker, you’ll hold back. Recognizing a problem and having the courage to face it don’t give you permission to explode with your accumulated frustrations, disappointments, and complaints.
Practice restraint, especially in relation to your tongue. Even in honest confrontation you don’t need to unload everything, and if you’re a peacemaker, you won’t.
3. Prepare for a long journey.
Seek peace and pursue it. (1 Peter 3:11).
If you’re serious about peacemaking, you may need to prepare for a long journey. If the problem is recognized early, peace may be restored quickly. But if you’re called to be a peacemaker in a relationship in which wounds are deep, you should be prepared for the long haul. When Peter used the word seek, he was saying sometimes peace won’t be easy to find. When he calls us to pursue it, he reminds us that peace may sometimes be far in the distance and that to find it, you’ll need to stay on the journey. Peacemaking is a process, not an event.
As you think about the long journey of peacemaking, remember God’s journey toward peace with you. The process of God’s making peace with you goes back to the beginning of time. It took all the promises of the Old Testament, all the work of redeeming Israel, and all the ministry of sending the prophets. It took the coming of Christ into the world, His perfect fulfillment of God’s law, His atoning death as the sacrifice for your sins, His rising from the dead, and His ascending into heaven. It took the sending of the Holy Spirit, who awakened you to your need for Christ, caused you to be born again, applied the full effect of the cleansing blood of Jesus to your life, and adopted you into the family of God. That was a long journey of redemption. God has been relentless in pursuing peace with us. Peacemakers reflect His persistence.
- Take a step towards peace.
If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. (Romans 12:20).
Even your enemy has needs, and Paul described a situation in which your enemy needs food. He or she is hungry, that gives you the opportunity to show an act of kindness. The principle here is a very simple one: when peace seems a long way off, ask God to show you one small step you can take in the right direction.
5. Trust to God the injustice you’ve suffered.
This is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly (1 Peter 2:19).
Sometime in your life you’ll experience the sorrow that comes from being slighted, treated unfairly, passed over, or taken for granted. It’s painful to have evil returned for good or to give of yourself and receive wounds in return. When you suffer unjustly, you need to know that Jesus has suffered unjustly also. No one has ever been wronged and had their rights ignored or flouted more than your Savior. Nevertheless, Christ was the great peacemaker.
Peter tells us in the way Jesus endured the evils and injustices committed against Him, He left an example for us so that we could follow in His steps. Jesus embodies the way God wants peacemakers to act when we’re wronged, provoked, or wounded.
Entrusting yourself to God (1 Peter 2:23) means looking to Him to deal with the injustice rather than trying to vindicate yourself. When Christ bore our sins, He absorbed the pain of what we did to Him without passing it on. This is what peacemakers do. The only way to break escalating cycles of retaliation is for someone to absorb the pain rather than pass it on. Someone has to say, “It stops here.” That’s what Christ, the great peace-keeper, has done for us. Knowing His vindication was with God and trusting Him for the outcome, Jesus broke the otherwise endless cycle of violence and vengeance by bearing our sins and absorbing the pain.
Knowing your need, you become “poor in spirit” (Matthew 5:3) and are thrown back in fresh dependence on the Lord. You begin to recognize and mourn the compromises of your past life and to submit yourself with meekness to the will of God, even when these steps are difficult and costly.
From this God will bring the good fruit of a tender heart filled with compassion, mercy, and forgiveness; a pure heart that wills one thing and pursues holiness; and a peaceable heart that will make it possible for you to be a peacemaker in a divided and troubled world. The first ring is within your reach. Grasp it firmly and swing!
I pray by authority in the name of Jesus Christ that this title today, “Seven Toxic Relationship to AVOID, PURGE or MANAGE – Seven God Ordained Relationship to CULTIVATE – Three Grey Areas to WATCH and Five Ways to PURSUE Peace”, further broken down in subtitle as “Perfect Relationship: Seven (7) indicators of toxic relationships to PURGE and AVOID like a PLAGUE + Seven (7) Indicators of God ordained and God modeled relationships to Cherish + Three (3) Grey Areas to Note for toxic relationships, to in keep in mind and to guide your relationship decisions and five (5) ways to pursue peace in a toxic relationship”
Will brings a refreshing, a healing , a deliverance and a restoration to every relations of as many that a listening right now and are in very difficult toxic relationships in Jesus name, can we say a loud amen to the prayer now? Amen and Amen
If you need counseling in your relationships, we are available to work with you as you reflect Christ in that troublesome relationship in Jesus name, amen
info@otakada.org, WhatsApp + 2348032835348
Shalom!
Ambassador Oreojo Monday Ogbe
Gods Eagle Ministries – Where we are seeding the nations with Gods Word and God is transforming lives through the timeless truth in His word
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