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Subject – The Christian Church – Let’s Talk About Sex in Relationships – Understanding the Entrapment of Emotional and Sexual Entanglement: I can have sex with whoever and whatever I want – What the hell is WRONG with that? Part 1 of 15
Watch the 13 minutes’ video –
Q&A Response on Quora – Answered In this post – How do we reconcile free salvation and discipleship?
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Sunday, 18th of August 2019
Blog link: https://www.otakada.org/
Nuggets of Wisdom
“Society has become so obsessed with sex that it seeps from all the pores of our national life.: – Billy Graham
“Sexual energy is just that, it’s energy. And where we choose to expend that energy makes all the difference in the world.”
― Joy McMillan
“Not everybody is doing it. Not all Christian Singles are having sex. Don’t let this season fool you. Stay Pure.” – Mary Tornyenyor
“Peer pressure accounts for much of the promiscuous sex in high schools and colleges. ‘Conform or get lost.’ Since no one enjoys losing friends or being cast out of his own circle, peer pressure-especially during the years of adolescence-is an almost irresistible force.” – Billy Graham
“[About sex]: If we’re not intentional about pursuing God’s best for our marriages, and grasping the tremendous role intimacy plays in that relationship, what was intended to be deeply enjoyed – a passionate, life-giving love affair… alight with laughter, fiercely protected, and drenched in freedom – becomes a stuffy, awkward thing to be endured.”
― Joy McMillan
“The greatest need of a man is not sex (He can get that from a prostitute if He’s not born-again), Neither is it Food (he can get that from a good restaurant). A man’s greatest need is respect.” – Funke Felix Adejumo
Key verses for Today:
Exodus 20:14 –17
14 No adultery.
15 No stealing.
16 No lies about your neighbor.
17 No lusting after your neighbor’s house—or wife or servant or maid or ox or donkey. Don’t set your heart on anything that is your neighbor’s.
Matthew 5:27-32 Message
Adultery and Divorce
27-28 “You know the next commandment pretty well, too: ‘Don’t go to bed with another’s spouse.’ But don’t think you’ve preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices—they also corrupt.
29-30 “Let’s not pretend this is easier than it really is. If you want to live a morally pure life, here’s what you have to do: You have to blind your right eye the moment you catch it in a lustful leer. You have to choose to live one-eyed or else be dumped on a moral trash pile. And you have to chop off your right hand the moment you notice it raised threateningly. Better a bloody stump than your entire being discarded for good in the dump.
31-32 “Remember the Scripture that says, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him do it legally, giving her divorce papers and her legal rights’? Too many of you are using that as a cover for selfishness and whim, pretending to be righteous just because you are ‘legal.’ Please, no more pretending. If you divorce your wife, you’re responsible for making her an adulteress (unless she has already made herself that by sexual promiscuity). And if you marry such a divorced adulteress, you’re automatically an adulterer yourself. You can’t use legal cover to mask a moral failure.
1 Corinthians 6: 9-11 – New Living Translation
9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. 11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
1 Corinthians 6: 16-20 Message
16-20 There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us lonelier than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
Galatians 5:19-21 – Message
19-21 It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.
This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.
Dear brethren, we are led to start a new series called Understanding the entrapment of sexual and emotional entanglement in fifteen (15) series alongside our engagement in the market place, responding to Q&A.
By way of introduction to understanding the entrapment of sexual and emotional entanglement in the Christian church, the incidence of believers becoming trapped in destructive entanglements seems to have increased and continues to be a source of pain and heartache for singles and families alike. Sexual immorality knows no boundaries. Its insidious influence has spread into institutions and homes of well-intended people who seek to live moral, Christian lives.
The internet with all its goodies does not help matters at all. The internet has made the private consumption of illicit material possible through one’s home computer or mobile device (Phone). Young and old alike can access not only pornography but also engage in virtual emotional relationship with complete strangers on the other side of the world. Even if physical contact never occurs, the damage to a marriage can be devastating when the online relationship becomes enticingly important to one of the spouses.
Children, Young and old, missionaries, pastors, or lay members are not immune to the invasion of pornographic content on devices that leaves images which usually lingers to the point of getting entrapped. I have been called to advise on types of software that could help prevent these invaders from taking in more casualties. You will find a link under this post of tested solution to safeguard you and your family.
The television and movies continue to expose viewers to ever more tantalizing images and content that can draw us further into compromising lifestyles.
We have engaged Christian authors that have proven scriptural practical solutions to avoid the pitfalls of sexual immorality. There are also real life stories that we can learn from in charting our own course. Thanks to Lois Mowday for helpful content that will be used in some of the write-up.
The series of blog is being written to help anyone, especially Christians struggling secretly or publicly with any form of sexual immorality. None of us are immune from the temptations surrounding us. But all of us are able, with God’s help, to make positive changes in our lives that bring fulfillment far beyond the temporarily satisfaction that sexual immorality offers.
God’s intent is for our lives to be blessed, joyful, complete. His forgiveness is real and available. No one is beyond his love and grace. This as another round of discipleship journey to sexual freedom.
In the coming weeks, we will be looking at the following:
- Why…and Why Ask Why?
- Causes of Immorality – (Vulnerability, Denial, Unfulfilled Expectations, Emotional Pain, Diseases of the Attitude, A Weak Commitment to Christ, Root Cause of Immorality)
- The Process of Immorality (It’s not just a one night stand, Mind..Your own business, But there was no sexual involvement, an innocent little kiss turns deadly, Physical involvement, Rationalization for continuing the affair
- Pathway back to Godliness
- The Marketplace dangers – The world of work
- Relationship between singles (Godly dating, Self Image, Dating single parents
- Maintaining Godly relationships ( How to keep from Falling into Immorality, Love the worlds view vs the biblical view, The Eternal Perspective
- Restoration ( Living with Yourself, Rebuilding Your life)
- Move On ( What should our response be?, Grow to have Proper Male-Female Relationship
- The Passionate Life
Some of this titles might change along the way and we might not follow the exact order but stay with us.
In concluding this part, I pulled this off Odessey to buttress the point that It’s not about with whom now, it’s about the number of encounters, or should I say, encounters doesn’t matter any longer – Fasten your seatbelt brethren. Some startling stats in this post called “The Number Game Is Outdated, Sleep With Whomever You Want”
“I don’t know about anyone else but I am really sick of this double standard. Men are applauded and worshipped for hooking up with as many girls as possible because that is them being a man. They’re not called a man whore, ho or any other derogatory words.
But for women.
That’s a whole other story. You’re deemed as a slut or easy.
….Like yes, a society that makes sense. Who the heck decided this was a rule?
All I have to say, screw society!
Honestly, who cares how many dates you go on, who cares how many people you kiss or sleep with, who the heck cares? Small-minded people that’s who.
The last time I checked your body is your own, so why do you have to listen to other people?
If you’re being safe about the whole situation I don’t see it as a problem, honestly.
It’s 2018 people stop with the double standards. Numbers are merely just that, a concept that doesn’t define who you are all the time.
The way I see it someone whose in a relationship has sex more often than someone who goes around ‘hooking up’, for the most part. I know that may not be entirely true for everyone but for the most part it is.
96 people on Instagram, mostly college students, answered the question “does body count still count today?” 52% yes and 48% said no. I can’t speak for the entire society we live in but there is still this half and half division. My answer, it counts because everyone has all these negative ideas associated with having a high body count for their age. Should it count? Heck no. But what is too high? What gives someone the power to say “oh that’s a lot”, like no sweetie.
Stop the judgment. Society doesn’t understand what one person is going through or what sort of lifestyle one person wants to live. So let a man or woman live!
102 people answered the question “Would you date someone with a high body count” 59% said yes! So is it really so bad? My opinion, eh why not date someone who has a high body count? Let’s just hope they are actually good! But all jokes aside, you shouldn’t judge someone if their number is high to you, because if you’re looking for something serious you have to accept that person and their past.
Finally, 121 people answered the question; who is more judged when they have a high body count? 95% of people said, women. Shocking? I think not.
What I found that was most surprising was that the last 5% that said males were more judged, were males. Granted everyone has a different opinion, even still women will be more judged.
My final thoughts? Hook-up with whoever you want, just make sure you’re being safe about it and that person isn’t in a monogamous relationship.
Regularly get tested, because after all, you have to look after yourself first.
Don’t let people tell you that you should stop sleeping around.
Don’t let people call you these negative names. Times have changed. You have the rest of your life to settle down, don’t let someone put a timestamp on you.
It’s nobody’s business but yours! You don’t owe anyone nothing so you live your best life in whatever way you think is the best.”
Question on quora – How do we reconcile free salvation and discipleship?
Great question you have here. Let’s look at this scripture in John 8:30–32 to start with –
“As He spake these words, many believed on Him. Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on Him, If ye continue in My Word, then are ye my disciples; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:30–32
Check out the word believed and disciple in the above text. What do you make of it?
It is very important to understand the difference between believing on Christ for salvation and following Him in discipleship.
These concepts are certainly connected, but the book of John makes it clear that they are not the same. Believers will fail to live a holy life unless they understand discipleship, and they will lack assurance of their salvation if they confuse salvation with discipleship.
The Bible makes a distinction between believers and disciples. In John 2:11 we are told that Jesus did His first miracle “in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory, and his disciples believed on him.” In chapter one, we are told about the men who decided to follow the Lord Jesus, and in chapter two, verse two, they are called “his disciples.” Having seen His miraculous power, these disciples “believed on him.” They became believers.
In John 6 we read about a time when many of His disciples quit following Jesus. It happened after they heard Him make some bold statements about Himself and about receiving eternal life through Him. They had promised to follow Him as their Master and Teacher, but now they realized that He wanted them to depend on Him for their very salvation, and they just were not ready for this. When they complained, Jesus told them, “There are some of you that believe not.” They were disciples of Jesus, but not believers. The prime example of an unbelieving disciple was Judas the traitor.
THERE ARE SIGNIFICANT DISTINCTIONS BETWEEN SALVATION AND DISCIPLESHIP
1. Christ’s invitation to salvation is, “Come unto me” (Matthew 11:28); His call to discipleship is, “Come after Me” (Matthew 16:24).
2. Salvation is about the Cross of Christ (Matthew 16:21); discipleship is about your own cross (Matthew 16:22-24).
3. At salvation, you receive a gift, eternal life (John 4:10 and Romans 6:23); in discipleship, you give a gift, your body (Romans 12:1).
4. The salvation decision (putting faith in Christ for eternal life) must be made only once (John 5:24, 6:37-40, 10:27-28); the discipleship decision (commitment to obey Christ) must be made again and again (Luke 9:23).
5. Salvation is a sure thing (Romans 8:1, 8-11, 28-30, 33-39); discipleship is always in danger of failing (Luke 14:25-35).
6. Salvation is about grace (Ephesians 2:5-9); discipleship is about works (Revelation 22:12).
7. Eternal life is the result of salvation in Christ (John 3:16); eternal rewards are the result of successful discipleship (Matthew 16:27).
Salvation (eternal life in Christ) and discipleship (dedication to Christ) are simply not the same. When Jesus came preaching the Kingdom of God, He called people to follow Him as disciples (see Matthew 4:17-5:1). The term disciple means “a learner.” A disciple commits himself to his teacher, as an apprentice does, in order to learn how to do what the teacher does. As the term student is used of a learner in relation to his subject (as a “student of history”), the term disciple is used of a learner in relation to his teacher (as a “disciple of Socrates,” or of John the Baptist).
Many answered the call of Jesus to discipleship, and some continued to be faithful to that commitment, although the majority failed to keep it.
Successful disciples somewhere along the trail came to understand who Jesus really was, and trusted Him for their salvation. Peter is an example of a disciple who, although he often failed in his discipleship commitment, believed on Christ and was eternally saved. Judas Iscariot was a disciple who not only failed at discipleship (he “fell” from apostleship according to Acts 1:25) but also failed to believe on Christ and was eternally lost. The end of the chapter that records the desertion of so many of the Lord’s disciples brings relation between discipleship and believing very powerfully before us.
“From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away? Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life. And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God. Jesus answered them, Have not I chosen you twelve, and one of you is a devil? He spake of Judas Iscariot the son of Simon: for he it was that should betray him, being one of the twelve.” John 6:66–71
Disciples of Jesus are not necessarily believers in Him. To be a disciple of Jesus is to be committed to follow Him. To believe in Him is to trust Him for one’s eternal salvation. There is clearly a difference between the two, but it is also clear in the Bible that discipleship and salvation are not disconnected. Those who follow Jesus as Master and Teacher ought at some point to believe on Him as their Saviour. If one is truly committed to follow the teaching and the will of Jesus Christ, he will be brought to the place where he sees his need to believe on Him.
Today there are many who seek to follow Jesus but have not yet trusted Him completely for their own salvation. We should not think that there are no real disciples of Christ among those who have joined sacramental churches, affiliated with monastic orders, or entered the Christian ministry. While not understanding the glorious truth of justification by faith in Christ alone, many sincere religionists are disciples but not believers. However, Christian discipleship should lead to a saving faith.
The men whom Jesus chose to be His apostles found that if they would follow the teaching of their Master, they must recognize that His central teaching had to do with Who He is. “I am,” He said again and again, “the Bread of Life” (John 6), “the Light of the World”(John 8), “the Good Shepherd” (John 10), and “the Resurrection and the Life” (John 11). He did not say that He gave them the bread of life; He said He was that Bread which satisfies fully and forever. He did not say that He was a light inthe world; rather He claimed to be theLight of the World. He said He was the Shepherd of the psalm, Whom David had identified as Jehovah Himself. He taught that He Himself isEternal Life. Those who are really following Him must accept these claims and trust Him for their own salvation. They will either do this or forsake their discipleship.
BELIEVERS OUGHT TO LIVE AS DISCIPLES OF JESUS
People who have salvation in Christ have a moral obligation to follow Christ in discipleship. One of the most important calls to discipleship in the Bible is Romans 12:1, which shows us this truth very clearly: “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”
Notice that the call is addressed to believers (brethren). Saved people are called to discipleship in this verse. Notice further that the discipleship decision of dedication is voluntary even for believers (I beseech you). It is not automatic that a believer will follow discipleship. But every saved person is morally obligated to give the Lord his total dedication (by the mercies of God). The entire book of Romans before chapter 12 is about the mercies of God by which we are saved. Now, because of them, we who have been saved are urged to live entirely for the One Who died for us. It is our “reasonable service.”
Salvation is the most important issue of life, but it is not the only issue. If it were, why would we need the epistles? Without questioning the genuineness of their salvation, Paul in his inspired epistles admonished believers to flee “fornication” (1 Corinthians 6:18), “idolatry” (1 Corinthians 10:14), “the love of money” (1 Timothy 6:7-11), and “youthful lusts” (2 Timothy 2:22).
The New Testament constantly calls on believers to repent of their sins, to be good Christians, and to behave as disciples. Failure to live the Christian life does not prove that a person is not a Christian. Salvation does not settle all the issues of the Christian life, and wrong choices concerning other issues do not prove that the right choice has not been made about salvation. Surrender to God, love for others, honesty, purity, self-denial, submission to authority, and prayer are all issues true believers are to handle as disciples.
FAITH IS THE KEY BOTH TO ASSURANCE OF SALVATION AND TO SUCCESSFUL DISCIPLESHIP
The Bible teaches that we are saved by faith in Christ, and also that we are to live by faith in Christ. Faith makes all the difference both in having assurance that you are saved and in living the Christian life after you are saved. We see this clearly in the book of Galatians. Chapter 2, verse 16, says that, “A man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ.” We are justified (made right in the sight of God) by faith in Christ (as opposed to earning God’s favor through our supposed obedience to God’s law). Then verse 19 begins a discussion about how to, “Live unto God,” and verse 20 says that this is done also, “By the faith of the Son of God.”
Many come short of victory in their Christian life because they are seeking it through the efforts of their flesh. As we have seen, discipleship is about works, and it will be our works that will be rewarded if we succeed at discipleship, but nobody ever succeeds at Christian discipleship until they learn to live by faith.
LET’S GET IT STRAIGHT
Confusion over the distinctions between salvation and discipleship is doing serious harm in many lives today. People who have a hard time being sure of their salvation usually are having trouble because of preaching they have heard. Some otherwise sound preachers mix up the requirements of discipleship with the requirement for salvation, and are in this way preaching false doctrine.
The requirement for salvation is simple faith. The requirements for discipleship include self-denial, absolute surrender to Christ, and the forsaking of all. Preachers must preach discipleship, but not discipleship for salvation. Failure at discipleship does not prove that one is not saved.
Salvation is about, “Whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely”(Revelation 22:17). Discipleship is about, “If any man serve me, let him follow me” (John 12:26). They go together, but they are not the same. To make them the same is to ruin the plan of salvation by inserting the requirement of works. Let us rightly divide the truth of God, and thereby enjoy all the blessings of the grace of God.
You can read my book called clueless – go make disciples to provide further depth on the topic of discipleship : Clueless: Go and Make Disciples – Kindle edition by Monday Ogwuojo Ogbe. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.
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Conclusion and prayer:
Part of being the light is to point to the light and be the light. Sex needs to be viewed from the proper biblical perspective for proper benchmarking of right and wrong not just to the world but to the church of Jesus Christ. May we find this exposition insightful and life changing in Jesus name as we go out to show others the way by our own changed lifestyle.
God has placed us where we are for a reason, for a purpose and for a time such as this. Are we ready to partner with Him to reach others for Him? Can the Spirit of the living God use our writing, our speaking and life to communicate to the world around us His desires and expectations? Can we be a coach, a role model for Christ in our world? May He find us faithful as ambassadors of Christ in Jesus name, Amen.
Monday Ogwuojo Ogbe – E-discipleship @